Unfortunately, that is not an isolated opinion but one you will hear repeatedly in talking to people disillusioned by the church. Actually, a lot of people who are still participating in the life of the church would give the same assessment. I would guess every regular church attendee has been on the receiving end of some harsh words from a judgmental fellow believer.

Why do we love judging others? We judge others because we cannot stand ourselves.

The reality is, there is something within that person, that "sinner," which reminds us of our own sinful state. They are a smack in our faces. It is amazing how easily we explain away our own faults and sins but can be so hard on other people. This isn't a new phenomenon but something that the apostle Paul had to confront. In Romans 2:1 he writes,

"You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things."

We seem to do this in order to keep a bit of self-esteem and not lose hope of God's continued presence and mercy in our lives.  At the same time, we know that what we are doing is wrong and far from God's ideal for our lives. It deserves some punishment. So we end up condemning others instead of falling on our knees before God asking for his grace to forgive and empower us to overcome.

I have seen in my own life how often the people that annoy and receive my judgmental spirit the most are people just like me. I also know of many people who cannot get along because they are exactly alike. It is comical to watch them argue as they accuse the other of being a certain way or doing certain things that they can equally be accused of.

There is a funny episode of Seinfeld in which Jerry starts dating a woman who is exactly like him. They finish each other's sentences, like the same things, and hate the same things. The relationship is perfect and he starts suggesting that she might be "the one." However, after a couple of days, the relationship starts getting really old. Finally he comes to the awareness that he is dating himself. Needless to say, he immediately ends the relationship. In essence, Jerry realizes, "I can't live with myself. I can only handle one of me."

One of my favorite bands, "Switchfoot" just released a new album with a song called, "Mess of Me." In part of the song they cry out,

I've made a mess of me I wanna get back the rest of me 
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive 
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna reverse this tragedy 
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive 
The rest of my life alive! 

We lock our souls in cages 
inside these prison cells
It´s hard to free the ones you love 
Ohh, when you can´t forgive yourself 
Forgive yourself![2]

The imagery provided speaks so powerfully to what happens when we allow a spirit of judgment to overtake our lives. All of us end up with our souls locked in cages. We are in prison. The freedom we can receive all starts within our own souls. We must admit our sins and weakness and allow God to forgive us. Then, we must forgive ourselves of the mess we've made of our lives. It is only by experiencing this forgiveness that we can be free from the spirit of judgment and accusation.

Adventist churches need to be particularly careful about a spirit of judgment overtaking their churches. Our emphasis on the importance of obedience to God and the keeping of the commandments can easily devolve into a lack of grace and forgiveness. We need to make sure we follow what Paul writes as he continues the teaching on judgment in Romans 2. In verse four he reminds us, "Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God's kindness leads you toward repentance?" Paul is clear: kindness transforms people, not judgment.

We might get more satisfaction by projecting the frustrations of our own sins onto others but this just leaves us enslaved. Instead,  our churches must be places of kindness where people can come in contact with the God who can help people truly come alive despite the mess they have made of their lives.

[1] David Kinnaman and Gabe Lyons, UnChristian (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2007).